joining in on the fun!

So today I am finally joining in on of the with Miscellany Monday from lowercase letters. Every Monday my friend Carissa writes on the miscellaneous things of her life. So here i go...

1. I love birthdays. And there is nothing better than celebrating birthdays with friends. Last Monday I turned 25 which I have been a little hesitant about but there is no stopping time! So I'm 25 and a week today and so far so good.

2. We had our Fall Retreat this past weekend in Rock Hill. We spent all day Saturday at Carowinds and that is when I began to realize that i wasn't 18 anymore. By the end of the day I was exhausted! The weekend was great though. I had lots of good time with the girls from CSU. We also heard the gospel clearly presented 3 times and the students were challenged to make Jesus their treasure.

3. Completely random but I wanted to share! Please visit this website! http://www.chachaforchange.com/ There is a family at my church here is Charleston who is raising funds to build a home and start a ministry near the hospital downtown for families who have to come to MUSC children's hospital for an extended period of time. Check out there story and there journey over the past two years. But if you are going to be in Charleston on December 1 register for the second annual Ansley's attempt! They need 3300 people to make this happen!

4. So it's been over a month since sweet little Brinkley was born! Little Brinkley is still in the hospital and still needs your prayers. He continues to have a little difficulty with feeding. Yesterday the family got to meet Brinkley through the window they were all so excited! Here's a video of the meeting! Thanks Stephanie for sharing!

              (I stole these photos from my aunt...I wish that i could have been this close though)

today begins a new season

Just yesterday I was 24 and I claimed that 24 would be "my year of possibilities". And it was just that. I put myself out there and tried things I'd never done before, accomplished goals, and grew up a bit. But today I am 25. This day is bitter sweet because 24 was so great and I let me be me and I opened myself up for change. I was excited and joyful for a whole year about the possibilities life might throw at me. So I sit and think why should 25 look any differently. Over the course of the past year I have begin to see that the Lord does not want anything but for me to walk in obedience and seek opportunity in each day. This truth has opened me up to enjoy life and all that my God has created! This year the Lord has just as much or even more in store for me than the last. I am excited to begin this season and walk on the path the Lord has planned out for me.

Also, this weekend I was able to not only put on my 8th bridesmaid dress but I was able to celebrate the marriage of 2 very special friends. I have had the joy to love and encourage these friends in their relationship not only with each other but also with the Lord. They have been dear to me for several years now. Their relationship has had there ups and downs like any other relationship but I will say that I have never seen such a relationship that speaks the gospel so clearly. The way they were pulled apart for seasons and kept fighting for each. They love each other with all their being. You can see the joy that they bring each other through their love for each other. Just like the Lord delights to love his children and Christ fights for a relationship with each one of his people. Watching these two individuals be joined in matrimony was a beautiful celebration! The vows that said to one another and before God brought tears to my eyes. These who were once far off have been brought together and made one. Their story speaks forgiveness, redemption, and now victory. I was overjoyed (and a little anxious) all weekend just knowing that their marriage will do wonders for the Kingdom of God.

so a new season today. another year. another friend married. the Lord continues to teach much of him and much of myself. He continues to stretch me and take me places of humility and growth. I am excited for this new year I'm excited for new friends and old friends and being joyful for friends who are also walking into new seasons!

 Ben and Kay's wedding reception! She was one beautiful bride!

 mom and dad stayed all day sunday to surprise me for birthday dinner!

my friends helping me celebrate! the Lord has blessed me with some pretty great friends and this is just a few! thanks for celebrating me!

fearfully and wonderfully made

For you formed my inward parts;

you knitted me together in my mother's womb.

I praise you for I am fearfully and wonderfully made.

Wonderful are your works;

my soul knows it very well.

My frame was not hidden from you, 

when I was being made in secret, 

intricately woven in the depths of the earth.

Your eyes saw my unformed substance;

in your book were written, every one of them

the days that were formed for me,

when as yet there was none of them.

Psalm 139:13-16

An often read Psalm today means so much more to me than it did a week ago. The truth that I have believed for many years is so much sweeter today. Today marks one week. One week since the birth of another cousin. I didn't really grow up a whole bunch of kids in the family other than my two brothers. Seeing as my mother and father are the only ones who thought it would be a good idea to have more than one kid and the fact that my mom's brother and sister are several years younger than her I was 14 before another youngin' was added to the bunch in Piedmont. It has been a joy though to be able to love on babies and babysit for my younger cousins. I digress. Brinkley James Holder was born to my uncle and aunt at 34 weeks. Brinkley came in at a whooping 3.2 pounds. Though I have yet to touch his tiny toes or hold his small hands this sweet boy is precious to me. Brinkley isn't only a preemie but also has been diagnosed with down syndrome. Many people in this world would look at this child and see no hope. They might even say his life will be worthless. But when I see that sweet face I see a boy who has been fearfully and wonderfully made. My Father in heaven has formed his body and He knows the steps which lie before him. My Father looks at Brinkley and says, "It is good." I am looking forward to watch Brinkley grow and develop and to experience the joy which I know he will bring to everyone his life touches. In just a week many people have been able to see his life and say "The Lord is good." If only people could look at each day of my life and see the goodness of the Lord. My soul truly sees this psalm in a new light. My soul now knows well the wonderful works of the Lord. 

Brinkley still has a long road ahead of him. Please join with us and pray for the little guy! We do know he will have to have heart surgery (probably at the beginning of the new year). Also, pray for his new family as mom, dad, and Reese (his big brother) adjust to the change of having a new baby. 

sweet Brinkley

                                                    Reese man meeting his little "bruhder"

eyes wide open! Brinkley's first day to wear clothes

The Holders' (first new family photo)

the excited Big Brother! 

And I got to spend time with the Big Brother while the little guy's mom and dad were still in the hospital!

My prayer for Brinkley is a prayer that I have began to pray for my own life and that is that people would see his life and unmistakably see the love, grace, mercy, and redemptive power of Jesus. That they would see him and see that the Lord has been at work in him and through him. 

So sweet little Brinkley I can't wait to hold you. I look forward to look back on this day and be able to say thank you to the almighty God we serve. To praise the Lord for how far you have come since week one. I love you already and pray that you know today that you sweet boy are loved by many many people and that the God who formed your body has big plans for your little life. 

                                                                                  

                                                                                

learning from a warrior

So today I write to just say thank you. The Lord has taken me on a journey and every year as I look back I realize that the roads I am traveling are not my own. These roads have never been seen as right to my flesh. My flesh tells me that there is so much more to this life, there is so much more joy to be found with a job that pays more, that I will be more satisfied with more in my closet or on my walls, and that if only I could find a husband life would be complete. But my soul sings with great joy. Why? Well because my soul sees the roads I am traveling belong to the Lord. My soul sees that I am living now for eternal glory with Jesus. My soul rejoices at places I have been and the places I will go. Who knows what lies ahead because you could have asked me a year ago if I would be where I am now and I would've laughed. 

So how did I get on this journey? (well other than giving my life to the Lord) I am coming to the realization I am where I am due to the warriors God has placed in my life. Now you wouldn't find pictures of these warriors in the Webster's dictionary, but maybe beside Ephesians 6. There have been older women in my life who have shown me what it means to walk with God. These woman have been  warriors in life. They have taught me how to love people like Jesus, to take great delight in the Word (Psalm 119), and how to commune with the Lord in prayer. Some young and some old but these women have all played a part in my "warrior in training" program.

Recently I had the privilege of sitting down and learning from one of these warriors. She shared with a group of young women about her prayer life. This time was more than encouraging. Her dependance on the Lord through prayer is convicting, but pushes me forward to become a warrior. I wanted to share her methods. 1. she prays scripture. The truth that the Word tells us is that his word does not return void. 2. she intercedes for people and so she can remember she writes their name and request on an index card. She saves the same card and adds request until the card is full. 3. she prays for missionaries. She keeps their post cards and other information. She prays for the country, their needs, and their desires. 4. she prays through an attribute of God each day and meditates on scripture that claims that attribute.  After spending only an hour with this warrior I felt the need to spend hours upon hours with her and just learn from her life and her walk with God. 

No matter where the Lord takes me if I could just take with me one thing form each of the women and put it into action I will be in good hands. I will be in the hands of the Lord. All these women have taught me something different, but each one rests in the hands of the Lord. Thank you Lord for giving me warriors. 

the crazy life

Something that I am sure of is that everyone has there own definition of "the crazy life". No one ever has a real grasp or control of situations and circumstances that arise. And I am no different than anyone else out there. My journey is crazy, unpredictable really. One thing that I have learned about being in ministry is that I have to always be ready to be open and welcoming but at the same time ready to say goodbye. It's pretty easy to type that, but emotionally it puts you on a roller coaster. Just in my short years in ministry I have built relationships with people and have seen them go off to another part of this world. And I myself have journeyed off to serve and love and then say goodbye. I would not change a single thing. Each friendship made has taught me something and I can only pray that I have left something good behind. I sit and wonder what's next, will I be able to continue being joyful, and what is all this preparing me for? 

Then life gets real and DEPLOYMENT happens and I realize no matter how many friends move away or get married or babies are born this is the craziest. As we talked about and planned for my brothers second deployment everything seemed a little more somber. You know why? Well because he now has a wife. Yes it was hard to see a brother, a son, a grandson, a nephew depart to a country we knew nothing of but war but now with Erin everything changes a bit. Her life is now truly "the crazy life".

Also, my friend Stacy has been in this crazy life of deployment for 6 months now. 

Seeing the lives of these two women is remarkable and I know that their husbands couldn't be more proud. Many people are so encouraged by their courage. The crazier thing to me is they fell in love with men knowing the possibility of being left on the home front. I am convinced that no one or no book can prepare you for such a change. I even find myself praying that the Lord keeps me from falling in love with a solider (its hard enough saying goodbye to a brother). I am just that selfish. I am so very thankful for the life of a wife of a solider. Thank you for supporting your men, your families, and your homes. 

Today in the midst of all of that I am encouraged by Psalm 119:90,96 "Your faithfulness endures to all generations; you have established the earth, and it stands fast. I have seen a limit to all perfection, but your commandments is exceedingly broad."

The Lord is forever faithful to us and he is perfect beyond our comprehension of perfection. Ladies in your crazy life be forever reminded that there is one who cares for you more and better than your husbands and his plan for you is perfection! 

Erin and Jeremy at the send-off (picture quality terrible I know. It's a pic of pic.)

Stacy's operation "halfway done"

adoption.

...so i started this post a few weeks ago and just now getting to finish, but here it is!

It's been a while since I have had time or honestly the urge to sit down and blog, but here I am today.

Okay so just a a brief update on where I am in this crazy journey the Lord has me on. I am currently sitting by a pool with the sound of the ocean in the back ground. Since May 18 I have been in Panama City Beach, FL on the Summer Beach Project. What a treat it is to be able to spend this time not only at the beach but to be surrounded by students who are hungry to grow in their walks with Christ. It is tough though to uproot for five weeks for my job. It's non-stop when we are here. I honestly don't know how the staff with children go about keeping a schedule.

Also (since this is the year of many possibilities) I have found my self way outside of myself! I am officially enrolled in seminary. As week one in my class comes to an end I am quickly learning that this is going to be one of the most stretching seasons mentally for me. I am taking a class on properly interpreting the Word and yes it has been so so fun. Yet in the joy that comes from studying the Word and historical content of the Word my mind just may explode! Regardless I am super pumped for this journey and to see how the Lord is going to draw me closer to Him through knowledge.

So now here I am getting to adoption. This week on the SBP has been themed "Adoption". Over the past 3 years this word has become to mean a lot more to me. It carries a lot more weight than it once did. Once you can personally put a face to this word you come to a better understanding of it. Being a part of the struggle and praying for a child has allowed me to come to a better realization of God's love for His people.

Let's start with Reese...thats the only natural place to start because he has been the family's first tangible picture of adoption. This child (though all boy and wild as ever) has been one of the biggest blessings to my family. I honestly don't think everyone has come to this realization but soon enough they will. My aunt and uncle began a process that took 1.5-2 years to complete. I doubt any of us truly knew the commitment that was going to be required to call Reese our own. Countless court dates, home visits, and prayer times surrounded the official day when we could call Reese fully adopted, an heir to all that belongs to my uncle. Oh but we feel in love with this child long before the papers were signed! As a matter of fact this past mother's day was when Crystal finally received the birth certificate of her first born son. Reese, now 4, is something special. Though not ours by DNA, he is fully a part of the family. There is no giving him back (not that anyone would dare do such a thing). He is ours, he bears the family name, he is adopted! Just how "we" are adopted into the family of Christ. God is our Father and nothing can separate us from that love (Romans 3:38-39).

Now we are on to writing another story of adoption. My brother and sister-in-law have also began this process, but this is already having twist and turns of its own. Jeremy will be deploying for a year in July. So just recently they found out that adoption services have put there file on hold. We were hoping that all paperwork we be processed before Jeremy left so when he returned we would be ready to open our hearts to a little one. God has another plan and it's going to be so much better than ours. Just like each one of "our" stories with our Father. No one has that same adoption story but they all end in the same place... being lavished with love by a heavenly Father. This father loves us more deeply than we even know we desire.

It is crazy to me all that is done for adoption. The sweet pursuit for a child. The time and the commitment that is poured into the process is exhaustive. But all of this to call someone else's child your own. Think of how long God went after the Israelites. He continually went after them, "you will be my people and I will be your God". Or when Jesus left the 99 to go after the 1. He left it all to seek out and find the one that he wanted to bring home. And even the most evident example of his commitment to us, sending His one and only Son to the cross. The ultimate sacrifice that makes adoption possible. All of this done out of love. Love for His people. A love that is forever and unconditional. I am overwhelmed at the thoughts of this love that God has for us. Adoption is just another earthly example of how we can see God's love is action and what a blessing it is.

"In love, He predestined us to be adopted as sons through Jesus Christ, in accordance with his pleasure and will." Ephesians 1:4b-5

I did it!

It is official I completed my first half marathon!! And my friend Liz was right...you do get the marathon blues once it is all said and done!

So last weekend I traveled home in anticipation of Saturday. I left on a Thursday and never have two days gone by so slowly. For two nights I had nightmares about the run. Thoughts of not making it to the start line and not being able to finish raced through my mind day and night. Fears crept in as I anxiously awaited Saturday morning.

Race day was here! Liz and I woke up earlier ate our breakfast and headed to the Botanical Gardens of Clemson bunny ears and all. As they shouted go on the mic we all began trotting forward. The end of a long awaited journey had just begun. I ran and continued running for the next 2 hours and 13 minutes! This race was quite the course for this low-country girl of six years. It was for sure an up hill up battle. My saturday training on the bridge didn't much compare to the continual climb this coarse gave me. But I finished and I was pleased. Liz encouraged me the entire way and I would not had made it make to the finish line had she not been there.

Two things I was reminded of when running and now looking back at the run. One this race much like my Christian faith is nearly impossible outside the encouragement and accountability of community. The Lord put us here and gave us friends and family because he knew and knows better than us all that we can't go through life on our own. We need each other to get to tomorrow, to laugh together, to cry together, to love together, and this list could go on. I am so thankful for this reminder and wake-up call to the blessing of community I live in now. I am so often clouded by my own life that I forget that I couldn't make it without the many lives around me.

The second was that the Lord has been, is, and will be my strength and victory! When I was younger I had a bone infection and came and went on three different occasions. At the time of my first surgery the doctors were shocked I was still walking. The infection once again came back and this time after surgery I was sent home with antibiotics for a year. Still feeling of being defeated and my dreams and goals at the time put on hold. Then again 14 years after the first incident the infection returned and I again had surgery. Months later I pulled half a toothpick out of my foot. It's a miracle that I have a foot. It's a miracle that I can still run. It's a victory that I ran 13.1 miles! The Lord has much more in store for this life is has given me. As I live in His strength and claim his victory I will one day cross the finish line and my prayer is that He will call me a good and faithful servant.

But as for now I will continue running and I'm on hunt and another half! The year of first in this year of 24 is only the beginning of seeking to live fully and that life is found in the Lord.

I couldn't finish without recognizing my biggest fans!