Home for Christmas

This might be all over the place. This past few weeks my thoughts have been all over the place. I have sat to put words on this screen and my thoughts just couldn't be put into sentences. So, tonight I'm going to give it a try.

The phrase "I'll be home for Christmas" sits differently with me tonight. As I listen to Dave Barnes rendition of the song I wish I knew for certain this would be true for my entire family. I wish I could say with great confidence that my family would gather together at my Nana and Papa's house around the tree, but the Lord is doing big things in the midst of this season and this just might not be so.

Home- described many different ways by dictionary.com. My favorite being; the dwelling place or retreat for an animal. But really home can be so many different places for someone. I am learning more and more of my view of home. When I think of home I automatically go back to the place where I spent over eighteen years, but that place wouldn't have been home without the people who created each memory my mind quickly goes to. I am very familiar with this place I call home, but I do believe no matter our dwelling place home would be wherever I found my daddy who protects, my momma who serves, and my two older brothers who...well were a bother joy. So Christmas this year will I be home? No. My home will be incomplete. My brother will not be back till almost July of 2013..guess we could have Christmas in July?!?!

But that's not why my thoughts are so scattered nor does it have to do with the big things the Lord is doing. Home does though. Our littlest addition continues to keep us all on our toes with much anticipation. A week ago today he had just went through open heart surgery. He had complete repair of his heat defects that he was born with. (I am not going to talk like I know what I'm talking about when it comes to his surgery. The only thing I remember is that he had four tears/holes somewhere and the latter part of the name of the condition is the doctor who identified the defect.) Our sweet Brinkley is fourteen weeks old and his place of dwelling has been the hospital for nine of those weeks. Seven weeks in Greenville and thus far almost 2 weeks in Charleston. So how do you describe home for this little guy? Home can't just be in a place. He hasn't had the privilege of knowing the comfort or warmth of a home much at all. The only dwelling place that is familiar to him is a hospital bed. A place that I myself have become too familiar with these past two weeks. Never have I ever wished to walk the halls of MUSC Children's Hospital as much as I have the past few days.  His "family" tends to be growing though. He has had so many sweet nurses caring for him each and every hour of the day. His mother and father have been pleading with the Lord to heal their sweet baby. His big brother just wants him to run and play! And more people than we can count have heard his story and have been praying for him. Home for this sweet boy has to be wherever those who love him are. And all those who love him most are in the Upstate. As Brinkley's big brother Reese would say, "Charleston just needs to come nearer".

I digress and go back to the song "I'll be home for Christmas". Our prayer is just that for our sweet Brinkley. Tonight is the eve of yet another procedure. Tomorrow he will receive a pacemaker. He still waits for the oxygen tubes to be removed from his tiny throat and we hope for IV's to be taken out. To see that sweet boy lying on the bed hooked up to all sorts of machines and tubes coming out from just about everywhere is heartbreaking. I pray that there is a light at the end of this tunnel. I pray that in 11 days the entire family (minus Jeremy) will gather around Nana and Papa's tree. I pray that as the Lord sends him and his parents through this season that someone will see a glimpse of the gospel and that his parents will be drawn nearer to the Lord. I pray that we all will see the steadfast love and grace of the Lord. I pray that we all will be home for Christmas! 

These are pictures from last week from before his surgery. I can't wait to cuddle this cute face again soon!

remembering

Tonight I sit and write about a theme that the Lord has put in front of me for the past few months. Remembering. Remembering His faithfulness. Remembering His promises. Remembering the ways He shows Himself to me. Remembering His love for me.

This semester I have been going through the Old Testament. Seeing how God remained with Israel and how often He told them to set up remembrances made me go back and think of seasons I needed to build monuments to remember. To go back to those places where God showed his faithfulness and his love to me. Go back to those places where God had brought me out of a wilderness and into a promise land.

This week has taken me back, forced me to remember. A year ago I jumped on a plane with a group of girls, few of which I really knew, and headed to a land I barely knew. Little did I know that ten days there would change me. I quickly feel in love with the small faces and enjoyed every moment ministering to the many people we met. The Lord taught me so much about myself and my need to go. He also surprisingly confirmed my place in ministry with Campus Outreach. The Lord also brought new and lasting friendships that I had been longing for. He took me out of a season of loneliness and into a promised place of His gracious providence.

Tonight I remember the sounds, the smells, the big brown eyes, the constant motion. I remember the sweet boys who just needed a second chance, the children who rejoiced over a quick bathe and plate full of rice, the humble women who sat before me as a scrubbed their feet and painted their toes, the sweet women who joyfully gave their lives to the ministry of Jesus Christ.  I do long to head east again soon, but for now I am here and hold tightly to the sweet memories of India.