One of the chosen books is Undaunted by Christine Caine. You may have heard of her once or twice but if not she's the girl who founded with her husband the A21 Campaign. The girl who has been a huge advocate for girls all over the world who are trapped in the life of sex trafficking. Her life's vision already seems so daunting to me so I was very intrigued the moment I opened the book. So much of her story has me sitting on the edge of my seat thinking "Lord when is my turn to be great?!?!"
Undaunted by definition means undismayed, not discouraged, or not giving way to fear. As I completed the section on fear I found myself searching my own soul. What is it that I truly fear? How am I living undaunted or am I living daunted by just my daily task? Am I allowing fear to paralyze me? The questions flooded in. I find myself laughing a little as I think of a fear that I have now discovered here at the Summer Beach Project... ROACHES. Me along with a pack of other females will come screaming out any one of our rooms at the sight of one of the little guys. Though I laugh at these fears I move back to the thought of those fears that keep me frozen. Each time I begin to question my fears I usually convince myself I am fearless... I remind myself that God has not given me a spirit of fear. But in this I never get to the root of the fears that really do exist. Though much of my life I have tried to convince myself and everyone else that I am Superwoman each day the Lord is showing me I am far from that. He has been teaching me there is so much more joy to be found in my weakness and meekness. This concept is totally bazaar to me! I am the daughter of Superwoman herself. My mom does it all and when it's "all" done she finds more to do. And did I mention she does it well. I've lived much of my life thinking the woman had no weakness and if she doesn't then I can't have any either. I have given a very sad attempt. Anyone who really knows me could probably give you a lengthy list of weakness. So fear number one: I fear being viewed as weak and having weaknesses. I associate failure with weakness. That is so unbiblical of me. Having just completed a study of the Old Testament I know that only by the Lord's strength was victory won. Only when the people allowed the Lord to fight for them. Only when they submitted to his authority. Where is my victory when I am trying to obtain all the strength in the world? That victory is no where to be found. In those moments I am being dependent on me and me alone.
This fear leads me to the next. Fear number two: I fear being alone. What?!? Am I crazy? How many times does the Lord tell me "I'll never leave you nor forsake you"? But when I am living a life of independence it's hard to see anyone near. It becomes difficult to trust those who want good for me and want to love me. When I have the view of self where I am on the top it gets very very lonely. So fear number one forces me into fear number two. My selfishness, pride, and arrogance lead me to a place where I become lonely. A place where I begin to become paralyzed. A place where I believe the lie that I am all I have. The lie that if I want it or am going to achieve it I've got to do it myself. So fear number two just feeds fear number one.
I've learned so much about myself and what God does not desire for me since approaching my fears. Fear is sick and obviously twisted. Christine used the example of Peter walking to Jesus on water in Matthew 14. Peter had to be fearful during the storm, yet as he saw Jesus and trusted he was able to step out of the boat and walk on water. Though the moment Peter took his eyes off he sank. The question is then How do I live a life undaunted? The answer is TRUST. Trust not in myself but in my Father. My Heavenly Father who has me in his arms holding me tightly. Each day trust. Trust Him with every task, every fear, every moment of every day. Trust. He has so much in store for me if I just trust Him and be willing to take risks. Take risks that might force me into a place of my weakest moments. Take a risk that might have me literally alone. Weak but strong in my Savior's strength. Alone but never far from my Jesus.
Live without fear. Trust in Jesus and there I (and you) will find greatness.
